Irrational thinking.

So lying in bed last night I had a bit of a freak out moment.

It was irrational really.  Came from no where in particular but really made me panic.

What would happen if our house fell down in an earthquake at night.  If I was pinned down under the rubble that was our roof.  I couldn't move and could hear the children calling out, needing me.  Given as I have got older my claustrophobic fears are considerably worse than in my youth this alone was enough to give me heart palpation's.  But the idea of my kids needing me, being hurt and not being able to help them was horrific.

It got me thinking about lots of awful things (which I won't go in to) and having an understanding of why parents don't ever want to outlive their kids.

Now this is something that if you dwelt on would totally send you over the edge.  Literally.  And if we lived with this type of irrational thinking on a day to day basis you would never let your kids do anything.  Probably would home school them, never let them out of your sight - firmly wrap them in cotton wool.

The problem with thinking about this type of thing is you end up missing the moment completely. 

And there is someone very dear to me, that inadvertently, is worried about such things in another way.  Worried that there will be too much stuff for her family to sort/clear out/get rid off when she's gone.  Irrational? Yes. Why? Because she will live to a ripe old age, enough to drive us all crazy.  A rest home in Invercargill or better still Raetihi would mean we won't have to clear out all that stuff anyway.  (Ha!)

So why is it we worry about things that have yet to happen?  Worry about things that we can't control?  I'm guessing human nature, perhaps the control freak part of us and actual fear of it happening.

The important thing to remember about irrational thinking, is it's just a thought.  And if we lend our minds to these things they can consume you.

Every day is a fresh start.  It's time do, live, experience and enjoy. 

This morning when I woke up to find Master 6 snuggled in bed I hugged him like there was no tomorrow.  Maybe there is a tomorrow, and maybe there isn't.  I'm not going to worry about that right now.  I'm going to make a train track with Miss 3 and live for right now.