Ratios.

Sucky things today
Growling at Master 6 to get him to hurry up
Making myself a shit cup of tea - pour the milk in LAST!!
Opening and closing and opening and closing and opening and closing fricken gates......

Good things today
Master 6 pointing out the rainbow after I growled him...two fold, no lasting effect of growling AND the rainbow!
Lip gloss
Sitting in the car with Miss 3 watching the lambs
Cuddles from my kids
A clever and creative friend getting into an Australia competition!
Crock pots
Heat pumps and snowy mountains
Marking things of my to do list
The good feeling you get from giving

Hows your sucky things and good thing ratio stacking up today? 

I've had a look at some other blogs of late and although I admire them in some ways for their perfect looking children's bedrooms, clever crafty bits, humour and all round coolness I don't think I'll ever be quite like that.  It's not that I don't have perfect looking bedrooms.....it's just hard to see under all the toys and it's not that I don't like crafting stuff, I do but I'm just not a perfectionist enough to every warrant sharing here.  As for the humour hmmm well lets just say I crack myself up, not so much others....just ask my kids if I'm funny....fairly sure the answer will be "crazy, not funny". 

So back to my point, my blog will be and is based solely around me expressing myself.  Like for example my last posting about the kids.  If I hadn't written about the kids I would have never taken the time to reflect on them and their behaviour.  I would have missed that moment, and really it's those special moments that make life infinitely better. 

oh yeah THATs why i do this job.....

So when it rains it pours.....well in my world today it wasn't so much about the rain as the code brown  nappies.  Seriously 2 nappy wearing children created a heck of alot of poop today.  I advised Miss 3 to get a job that doesn't involve poo and she won't need reminding twice....her nose was wrinkled in disgust prior to her sneaking away to a vapour free zone.

But once the charges were gone, and my kids had snacked, while I was cooking a gourmet meal (snigger snigger) I was listening and watching them play with the stuff we had out today.  The conversations, imaginative play and fun they had was wicked.  With a car tent and some toys they drove, shopped, drove a bit more - til the car broke down.......before switching to the whiteboard to sit side by side and draw.  And the thing that astounded me was there was no fighting, no can we watch a DVD, no "she did this", "he did that" and don't get me wrong we have those days, but this was awesome.  When I said time to pack up and set the timer, they did that.  I know, can you believe it?  In fact whose kids are these?!!

I think that essentially I have great kids, nup actually it's a fact.  They love each other as best brother and sister do at this age.  They (mostly) listen and (mainly) do what their told.  The give cuddles when required and make me smile and laugh when I need it most.  They have also driven me to drink some days but surely that's another posting altogether. 

How and when did these kids get to be like this? 

I'm not a perfect parent and the more study I do towards my child care goals the more I realise there are somethings I should have done differently but somewhere along the way they came out okay.  These kids have two loving parents so I'm not going to take all the credit for the kids being pretty cool.  But perhaps there is something in loving your kids that rubs off on you, that gives you the passion to see that in other kids.  I'm not sure but if I can care for other kids, and they have a smidge of how my kids turn out somewhere in there, I'm doing the right thing.

Could you just stop feeding your kids kiwifruit please.

The importance of girlfriends

Don't get me wrong, the Farmer is wonderful.  I love him to bit but I would be entirely lost without my girlfriends.

Girlfriends understand the importance of a haircut, they notice new clothes and laugh at your bad jokes.  They are happy to eat cake with you (even when they started a diet yesterday), to let you cry on their shoulder (although the days of shoulder pads did a better job of absorbing the tears), they forgive you your misgivings (ha not that there are many!) but most of all they just are there for you.

My girlfriends understand me, they get me.  They know what it's like to face the hard questions.......ice cold beer or big fat chardy.  They laugh with me, sometimes at me, and I'm okay with that.

On my final day of "no extra kids" - the day that will now be absorbed into my new full time (er "full time" PAID job) of caring of other peoples kids I spent a most relaxing and fulfilling time with my girlfriends.  Okay so a sneaky haircut and a couple of "minor" jobs but essentially I hung out with friends having coffee, wine, food and alot of hearty laughs. 

My only regret?  That I don't get to do it often enough.  My plan?  To remedy that!

Thanks dear friends, all of you, absent friends & far away friends - you know who you are! Love ya!

You know your doing the right thing when....

......you have children who are excited about 4 different ways of painting

......you preserve with your child at the dinner table and they still love you

......you finish an assignment and are ready for the next one

......you have a to do list for the day that is completely crossed off

.......you find joy in things that other people may not get and really don't care

.......you go to bed feeling tired but happy.

It's a good day in my world.

Gardening Gloves

I've just been sitting in the lounge, by myself, not a pleasure I get to enjoy often enough unfortunately.  But I have been using the time to think about what's bugging me. 

It's the snide remarks (which perhaps aren't meant to be), the life's not fair feelings (which we all get) and the "I wish" moments which can lead to a shade of green which is certainly not becoming on me.

All the above plus my frame of mind, timing and perhaps tiredness all contribute to how I'm feeling today and I'm not liking it.  I'm not liking who it makes me.   We are all entitled to days to wallow a bit, but when I actually think how it makes me feel it's not who I am.

I know I am above it and I know that it's my issue and I should get on with things and not worry about anyone else.  The people in my life that know me well and I spend time with are the people that make me happy.  I should embrace that, not try so damn hard to please people who make me doubt myself.  It shouldn't be hard.  These irritating feelings are just that irritating but only if I let them. 

What I have with my Farmer, Little Miss and Master is pretty damn awesome.  They thrive on the life and love we give them, so there is no room in me anymore for anything but the good stuff.  I don't want to feel clogged up with this stuff any longer.  

I could think of things in a different way - when you get a thistle in your finger it hurts initially, if you don't remove it, it becomes red, possibly infected before your body eventually gets rid of it.  If I consider that my life is a garden then perhaps I should wear gloves. 

A Nature Geek

Yesterday, as I drove up the drive, I was driving parallel to a pair of paradise ducks.  I couldn't help but notice how beautiful they were....watching them fly with such grace was really quite stunning.  I know that being a farmers wife I should curse ducks - they eat grass seed and when a whole flock come along can do some serious damage to the pasture but you know in that moment I was awe struck.

Combine this with the springy little lambs bopping about the place, chasing one another, so full of life and youthful exuberance I can't help but feel a little bit soft.  I know I should look at them with dollar signs and think that's just money running about the paddock not to mention how yummy they are to eat but really they are just cute!  I just new life is always like that.

Not only that but I snapped a pic out the window yesterday of the ranges - just breathtaking. Everything seemed to be just beautiful!  I love the way the cloud seemed to fold around the mountains.

Add in some of the most beautiful sunrises ......... with the cold frost but clear days and I feel like the move here was worth it.

Just someone remind me of these joys when I'm up to my eyeballs in mud, sheep poo, dealing with frisky bulls, having to feed a pet lamb cos the kids have got over the novelty of it, or sweltering in a drought.

For the moment though, I'm enjoying those moments that tweak a wee part of my heart and recording them here.  That's got to be a good thing.

Tears, Teeth and Tiredness

Such a LOOONNNNGGGGG day!

Just when I thought I was over the teething phase.......er, well, no.  Not if your looking after other peoples kids that is!  Unfortunately for one child the teeth results in not only icky poos and red cheeks but tears and hitting.  Yes I think I worked it out that actually "I'm-just-a-bit-God-damn-grumpy-that-my-teeth-hurt-so-look-out...." bash, thump, pull hair.....  Okay moving on.  Next time there will be bonjela and lots of it.

The other child's trouble was "I'm-very-tired-so-tired-I-could-sleep-on-you; but-get-me-the-hell-away-from that-cot-cos-I-don't-want-to-sleep-there-you-know" - so you can't win can you?!

Thankfully there are nice things too - the cuddles and snuggles, the run-n-hug from Master 6, the D&M's (deep and meaningful) with Miss 3 - "So Mum, how was your day? Tell me about it...." future job as a shrink?  "Mum I think I will buy you some new clothes".  Me "that would be nice we could go shopping together and you can help me" Miss 3 - "No I'll pick, I know about these things" Me - nothing.....what does one say to that?  Apparently I have NO STYLE!  You know she might have something there........

The evening now holds, a teeny tiny bit of study, followed by a large glass of wine, consumed while folding washing and watching a DVD before retiring to bed to finish a book and then a restful nights sleep.

Crap.  I just jinxed it didn't I?

Cat and mouse

I'm not sure why the cat thought it was a good idea to bring a mouse inside and eat it, but she did leaving just a wee pile of mini intestines as a treat for me.  Thanks.

Sometimes I feel like the cat, chasing the elusive mouse.  The mouse for me is everything I want to do, but can't find the time - cooking, crafting, spending time with just Duane, catching up with friends - things I enjoy but there are just never enough hours in the day for. 

How can I change that?!?

Sleep less, sell the kids, don't clean the house, hmm all fairly unrealistic ideas one would think.  I guess it's like everyone, work and life gobble up much of our time and we are all in the same boat.  Probably best not to fight it.  Just take what I can, when I can and savour the moment.

Incidentally I'm fairly sure I'm not ever going to eat the mouse if I do catch it.  But if I did, I most certainly wouldn't leave anything behind for someone else to clean up.

Kiwifruit and tomato paste

There are alot of things I enjoy about my job.

The smiles, cuddles and pleasure I get from seeing kids succeed and grow are huge.  Watching kids learn something new and seeing the delight on their faces when they did it "all by themselves" is priceless.  And without getting too gushy about it I feel I am doing the right thing 95% of the time!

However there is a down side...in fact a couple.  The interrupted pee, the half drunk cuppa, the crying/non sleeping child, the kiwifruit poo and finally vomit.  Vomit of mini pizza with tomato paste, cheese, ham and tomato is not as appealing as it was when it went in.  Not too mention the new carpet.  The worry of the bug spreading has the place smelling like a hospital, not a bad thing I guess.  And as a friend so kindly reminded me this morning, it surely could have been worse, it could have been diarrhoea.

Lucky I'm a glass half full kinda girl.

Change

I’ve been blessed this weekend.  Spending time with people I love and thinking about how great they are.  I have helped them move house and with any move there is a degree of change.  Environment, views, belongings, the drive to work and so much more.  So I got to thinking about Change.

It comes in so many forms.  Some are easily recognisable.  Big change smacks you in the arse and says step up or move outta the way.  Those ones force you to act and you really notice them.  Sometimes it’s good and sometimes, well not so much. 

Smaller change is mostly subtle things that you don’t even realise, and if your not open to it you may miss something grand.  Or perhaps you won’t even notice it’s come and gone.   (Like a Jemima Puddle Duck Tissue box).

How do you keep yourself ready for it?  How should you manage change?  Do you actually have a choice or is it pre-decided for you?

Well don’t look at me for answers.   I think the only the key to dealing with change it is in how you face it.  Be open.  Rainbows come after the rain and sometimes that’s where change will lead you.

It’s been a Red Bull kind of day

There are alot of things I like in life.  Sleep is one of them.  But not more than I like little people sleeping.  Needless to say that little people didn’t sleep much during the day today and I found myself enjoying a glass of liquid energy at lunchtime.   It perhaps didn’t give me wings but at least the energy to keep going for the rest of the day!  People who know me would be surprised to learn that this Red Bull was in fact JUST Red Bull. 

Fast forward the rest of the day and I've enjoyed a yummy pasta meal a glass of red.  And before the boys got back from Rugby a weeney boogie around the house while tidying up as there was NO-ONE else here!  WHOOP WHOOP!  Yep 36 going on 16. 

Me and my boy

So today after school Master 6 and I had quality time together.  We cruised into town swapping stories of our days before making a plan about we'd have for dinner and what we had to do while in town.

We mooched a bit in some shops, did the jobs on the list, I splashed out a little on a $1.97 tape dispenser for Master 6 (totally made his day) and as I was driving out of the car park to go to tea I remembered I had a small credit left on a Farmers gift card.  I "asked" if I could go there and have a look - he suggested tomorrow would be better but I explained that I would be working. What about the weekend he suggested - er I'm away I offered.  Oh all right then.......Thank you thank you .......... As we pulled in he made me promise that I wouldn't look at the kids clothes "not even a sniff" he told me.  Fine by me, I just wanted to look for me.  He behaved better than my husband would as I had a wee look.

In the end I couldn't really be arsed.  More to say I didn't really know what I wanted but as we were leaving I spied some little girls slippers (50% off)......thankfully I hadn't promised anything about not looking at childrens' shoes!  I found some jandals for him, some PJ's for me (he picked the design, crazy robots like Mum apparently) and were about to leave when we remember he wanted gloves.....aha in the kids clothing area but if your on the receiving end its okay!  Money all spent we left.

He had the pick of anything he wanted for tea.....I was suspecting the Golden Arches but in fact no.  He remembered months ago when I took him to breakers and he had spaghetti and meatballs and could we go there.  Why yes, yes we could.  Mum could have a beer there!  So we ate and as we were eating he posed an interesting question..... what colour meat are we?

Needless to say as I explained how I would in fact cook him (with garlic, onion, and herbs) that he may well change colour I couldn't help but laugh.  And that is really what it was all about.  Having a laugh, hanging out and making a few memories in the process.  Wicked. 

11 years ago today.............

I had just had my first "date" with the man that became my husband!  Our "Dating" anniversary is today!  And he really pulled out all the stops......he brought me......wait for it...........letting the suspense build.........
a pink feather duster!  In actual fact I asked him to get one, hoping I would be too vertically challenged to use it but alas, no.

As for the romance gesture well, I guess 11 years, 2 kids and farm sometime get in the way of such things but I can count myself lucky I have a husband who loves me, the kids and the life we are leading.  He is my best friend (not discounting the importance of my GIRL best friends!!) and the person who ends up taking the brunt of my bad days.  Thankfully he is kind enough to weather them and even though he leaves the wardrobe light on, forgets what I told him 5 minutes before and sometimes drives me to drink (not that hard mind you) I love him to bits!

Happy Anniversary to us!

One day at a time - thinking about what it is (or isn't) to be grown up

Talking today about being grown up, and then thinking about what that actually means, has got me off on a tangent of sorts. 

When exactly DO you grow up.  When you drive?  When you vote?  When you have a your first "real" job? Is it when you get a mortgage?  Or perhaps when you get married?  Lose a parent or become a parent? Or perhaps retire?!

Just because I still wear Scooby Doo socks doesn't necessarily mean I'm a kid, or I don't think it does.  But on the other hand just because I have some of life's "responsibilities "doesn't mean that I have to feel grown up either.

For me, I sometimes think I blur the line a little.  Should I act like a grown up even if feels a little out of character....do I get on well with kids because I still feel like one?  Well perhaps not a kid maybe some where about (at least) my mid 20s..........

There is nothing wrong with laughing loudly at silly jokes, still having a crush on Johnny Depp in your mid thirties, playing board games, getting paid to play with playdoh and still dreaming about things you would do if only you had the money.  

Perhaps the questions I should be asking myself isn't about "when" I grow up but its more about what drives me, what I'm passionate about and what I REALLY want to do.

And the answer? Beats me.  I'll get back to you.

Things that made me smile today.......

Lying in bed this morning with the kids giggling.  Dancing to Roxette (of all things) with Amelia and pulling out all my best moves.   Making Sarah’s blue cheese & caramelised onion muffins (and eating them) then getting compliments about them.  Hearing “thanks Mum luf you”  from Miss 3 who didn’t want to know me at 2 this morning and only wanted her Dad.  Watching Master 6 (unbeknown to him) with Farmer husband, sitting outside on a pile of wood thinking quietly.  Taking 5 minutes to sit and look at our view and ACTUALLY appreciating it.

Things that made me think I need more sleep: just about putting shampoo on my face instead of cleanser and turning on the cake mixer without the mixer blade in it.

Things that made me feel grown up: having book club here and talking about the recession.

Things that confirm I’m not grown up just yet......laughing at the fart jokes with the kids, and possibly encouraging them by joining in.

And the moment that made me thinking blogging was a good thing - when I caught myself thinking about   all the good things I could write down about my day.

Saturday morning PJ's

It's the weekend  - Hip hooray!

So I spent last night enjoying the not only liquid grapes but the company of like minded friends.  When they say laughter is good for the soul I would agree...laughing with girl friends is probably up there with therapy.  If in fact I had experienced therapy I could confirm this but I will just go with a guess at this stage.

The boys are off to Rugby. Miss 3 is still coughing up a storm so is still in PJ's and so am I, why wouldn't you if you could....you know I'm right.  So without the prospect of carting Miss 3 to swimming I am faced with an unusual prospect, do I clean the house (lord knows it needs it), study (lord knows I should) or put my feet up and read a book (swinging this way)....... given that book club will be at my house tomorrow I could use that as an excuse to read but who am I kidding?  In fact my list of jobs, the eternally growing one, is staring me in the face as we speak, so I think I will take the low road on this (the high one is too much to try for while still in PJ's) and will make a coffee - look at the list AFTER reading a chapter of my book - unless of course Miss 3 realises I'm not busy and makes a bee line for me with a board game..........

quietly now, sneaking towards the kettle........

In all my spare time .........

I'm not sure why I think it's a good idea to blog. In fact if the truth be known, I have very little extra time for it.  But perhaps that's the point.

Mum of Master 6 and Miss 3, wife to a full time working - part time farming husband and carer to 5 other kids over a 5 days my life sometimes seems a blur of feeding, cleaning, washing, tiding and the occasionally wine - hmmmm rephrase lots of wine.  So why start a blog?

As a written record perhaps I will be able to look back and see exactly what I have done, why I do what I do, have a sense of achievement - or something!  I would like to think I would be one of those clever bloggers who have lots of crafty things to offer, wonderful recipes and good wholesome parenting morals that I would share but really it's unlikely.  You were warned.

I gave some advice to a Mum the other day, "record the biggest issue your having with your baby and guaranteed in a months time it won't be a problem" - in fact your likely to have another issue but that's not the point!  So perhpas that's why I'm going to do this.  And maybe, somewhere along the way, I will know what I want to be when I grow up......