Doubting Jane

Funny thing doubt.  It creeps in when you least expect it.  A moment of 'the grass looks greener' and all of a sudden you can't see the wood for the trees.

Not sure why but I was awake at 2am.  Comparing myself.  Looks.  Ability.  Status.  The whole fricken lot.  Why?  The only thing I can think of was a pair of shoes I wore yesterday. 

They are cool but actually not really me.  And as I glanced at myself in shop window I wondered why I was wearing them.  Was I trying to look at certain way? 

Finding a sense of style is something I think you always continue to do.  What you might like may not be practical.  It might not be comfortable.  It might look terrible!  But if you think you rock it then run with it. 

So why was I doubting a pair of shoes I brought?  I can't tell you. 

What I can tell you is that I felt really daft wearing them.

And that made me think about all the other things I could be doing wrong.

Am I working hard enough?

Am I doing all the right things as a Mum?  As a wife?

Do I make enough time for others?  For me?!

Well - the answer is yes.  Absolutely.

I have flaws, I'm not always ticking all the boxes and certainly there are things I can do to improve - BUT I believe in myself.   And really that's all that matters.

Feck off Doubt.  You have no place here.

And as for those shoes?  I think they will be retired. 

It's not like I don't have plenty more! ;-)

Hello Blog world!

Wow!  It's been, like, years!

So a friend was thinking of doing a blog and I said I used to have a blog I tell you who I used.....couldn't for the life of me remember so after I finally found it I discovered I was laughing as I re-read a few old posts.

Something have changed.  Others have not!

I still love what I do.  I still try to find the best bits in life by taking a moment.  I'm still a big kid.  But one who is happy in her own skin, likes the way she is and finds joy in being able to laugh at herself. 

Photography is still a bit part of my life.  I can't bring myself to make it a huge priority because I have so many other important things in my life - the Farmer, Master almost 13 and Miss almost 10, Family and friends.

I still look after children - in a different way now.  I'm a part of TimberNook Australasia.  Perhaps I'll talk about that in another post.

Farts are still funny.  Unless they are stinky and are released in my personal space.  Then, not so much.

Life can still be hectic.  But hectic is okay.  Just not all the time.

I am better at saying No. 

I value the importance of filling my bucket with friends and lots of laughter.  Oh and wine.  Wine is good.

I laugh.  Alot.  Mostly at myself.

And I think that writing again could be good for my soul.  So....who knows!  Talk soon x