It's a funny thing, making changes.
You know it's right but in the time leading up to the inevitable you doubt yourself, your motives, your reasoning.......other people add their opinions and you doubt yourself more!
With one day left of the job I've been doing for well over 2 years now I had expected to feel something more. Yes I will miss watching the children develop, encouraging their learning/play and growing has been amazing. However I guess there is just a quiet sense of relief at the moment.
Maybe I'm just tired. Maybe next week when things settle I'll be able to articulate myself better.
For now it's a chapter just about to close. I'm wondering what the next chapter holds.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Older than his years.
Master 7 never fails to blow me away.
Of late his room has looked alot like a small bomb went off. Normal 7 year old boy stuff I assume. But I want to put the responsibility on his shoulders to tidy it up. I have enough to do without picking up after him and with the prospect of pocket money in the near future for him I feel that he needs to pull his socks up, so to speak.
Anyway, on his 'I'm finished' room inspection I ended up sitting down having a chat with him.
"Honey, how about you put that box back in the recycling huh?"
"But Mum you said you would make a tank with me"
"But Love I just don't have time right now"
"Mum, you promised"
"Don't you think that your room has enough junk in it already?"
"Mum your stopping my creativity"
Shocked silence.
"Remember you made me throw out my castle, that I made?"
More silence.
"But you never played with it?"
"YES I did."
Thoughtful silence.
"I'm very sorry, Master 7. I have stopped your creativity. I didn't think of it that way before. Lets take some other things out of your room so you have space to display your creations"
"Thanks Mum"
Oh my goodness me. Talk about a kid being today in tune with the world. Master 7 has a wisdom beyond his years. He reminds me of the things I know I should be doing/encouraging (with a fair dollop of guilt).
I've just finished reading a book on ways of discovering your "Element". Sometimes our school lives don't give us enough guidance to find it and I wanted to be sure to encourage that with my kids. But apparently I have got caught up in the age old nagging to keep things tidy, without thinking about who my child really is.
And Master 7 has always been one for creating, making and thinking.
I need to remember to nurture this. Celebrate him for who he is. And give him the room to discover his "element."
Of late his room has looked alot like a small bomb went off. Normal 7 year old boy stuff I assume. But I want to put the responsibility on his shoulders to tidy it up. I have enough to do without picking up after him and with the prospect of pocket money in the near future for him I feel that he needs to pull his socks up, so to speak.
Anyway, on his 'I'm finished' room inspection I ended up sitting down having a chat with him.
"Honey, how about you put that box back in the recycling huh?"
"But Mum you said you would make a tank with me"
"But Love I just don't have time right now"
"Mum, you promised"
"Don't you think that your room has enough junk in it already?"
"Mum your stopping my creativity"
Shocked silence.
"Remember you made me throw out my castle, that I made?"
More silence.
"But you never played with it?"
"YES I did."
Thoughtful silence.
"I'm very sorry, Master 7. I have stopped your creativity. I didn't think of it that way before. Lets take some other things out of your room so you have space to display your creations"
"Thanks Mum"
Oh my goodness me. Talk about a kid being today in tune with the world. Master 7 has a wisdom beyond his years. He reminds me of the things I know I should be doing/encouraging (with a fair dollop of guilt).
I've just finished reading a book on ways of discovering your "Element". Sometimes our school lives don't give us enough guidance to find it and I wanted to be sure to encourage that with my kids. But apparently I have got caught up in the age old nagging to keep things tidy, without thinking about who my child really is.
And Master 7 has always been one for creating, making and thinking.
I need to remember to nurture this. Celebrate him for who he is. And give him the room to discover his "element."
Love you kiddo xx
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Feeling like my head is going to explode...
No it's not the world's largest pimple, nor a life threatening brain tumour - it's just life!
I'm constantly 10 steps in front of where I need to be and my mental hard drive appears to be full so my memory is shot, my logic is random and my sleeping isn't so flash!
It doesn't help that I feel like I've mentally almost "checked out" of my job, with the list of "when I'm finished work" ever growing and becoming a full time job in itself.
I have so much going on I'm not sure how to unwind!
And, shockingly, wine isn't very helpful.
Oh. My. God.
Who is this person who has taken over my life and where the hell is JANE?!
Thankfully I had recharged my batteries with a glorious Mothers Day, much thanks to the Farmer, otherwise I would probably have been carted off in a padded van now.
So, in trying to focus I'm allowing myself 5 minutes to hash out a blog post (always makes me feel better) then am going back to work (playing with small people, cars and play dough is semi therapeutic) and will pour quite possibly luke warm coffee down my pie hole in an effort to regain some sanity.
If you don't read any more posts for a while, it's likely I'm having a rest at the home for the "Mothers who have lost the plot" - reservations not essential.
I'm constantly 10 steps in front of where I need to be and my mental hard drive appears to be full so my memory is shot, my logic is random and my sleeping isn't so flash!
It doesn't help that I feel like I've mentally almost "checked out" of my job, with the list of "when I'm finished work" ever growing and becoming a full time job in itself.
I have so much going on I'm not sure how to unwind!
And, shockingly, wine isn't very helpful.
Oh. My. God.
Who is this person who has taken over my life and where the hell is JANE?!
Thankfully I had recharged my batteries with a glorious Mothers Day, much thanks to the Farmer, otherwise I would probably have been carted off in a padded van now.
So, in trying to focus I'm allowing myself 5 minutes to hash out a blog post (always makes me feel better) then am going back to work (playing with small people, cars and play dough is semi therapeutic) and will pour quite possibly luke warm coffee down my pie hole in an effort to regain some sanity.
If you don't read any more posts for a while, it's likely I'm having a rest at the home for the "Mothers who have lost the plot" - reservations not essential.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Why WASN'T I dreaming about Johnny Depp?!
Okay so I had this really weird dream the other night.
Do you remember Doug Penhall (Peter De Luise) from 21 Jump Street?
Let me jog your memory:
Anyway SO I have this dream and 'Doug' is in it. Giving me a hug................no not THAT sort of hug, like a nice "wrap you up in big cuddly arms" hug. And I woke up from it and initially thought, well that was nice.
However the issue at hand is WHY wasn't I dreaming about Johnny Depp?!! Does this meaning I'm cheating on him?!! I think so. What a trollop. Sigh.
Anyway, the dream could be a wee reminder for me to hug the Farmer more. So that's what I'll do.
Do you remember Doug Penhall (Peter De Luise) from 21 Jump Street?
Let me jog your memory:
On the right people.....!!!
Anyway SO I have this dream and 'Doug' is in it. Giving me a hug................no not THAT sort of hug, like a nice "wrap you up in big cuddly arms" hug. And I woke up from it and initially thought, well that was nice.
However the issue at hand is WHY wasn't I dreaming about Johnny Depp?!! Does this meaning I'm cheating on him?!! I think so. What a trollop. Sigh.
Anyway, the dream could be a wee reminder for me to hug the Farmer more. So that's what I'll do.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Just the girls...
It's just me and Miss Four. Whoop whoop!
The men folk have hit the road, heading to the Farmers parents farm in search of ducks. Not my scene. Thankfully Miss Four had a birthday party to attend so we are having a girlie weekend.
Last night after dumping our things after a long day, we blobbed. We picked a DVD. We got some corn chips. And we hung out. We did a bit of dancing (think I pulled a muscle in my butt....). We had scrambled eggs for tea. And after Miss Four was in bed....I did NOTHING. No dishes. No folding washing. NOTHING.
Awesome! Why don't I do that more?!
Anyway today, there will (unfortunately) be the need to do some jobs.....but I am hereby promising to turn the computer off as soon as I have finished this post, only do what really needs to be done and spend some time with my baby girl.
We might garden. We might draw. We might play cards. We might bake. Who knows!
But what I do know is I'm going to relax and enjoy my daughter before she grows up and thinks that spending a weekend with Mum is 'naff''.
The men folk have hit the road, heading to the Farmers parents farm in search of ducks. Not my scene. Thankfully Miss Four had a birthday party to attend so we are having a girlie weekend.
Last night after dumping our things after a long day, we blobbed. We picked a DVD. We got some corn chips. And we hung out. We did a bit of dancing (think I pulled a muscle in my butt....). We had scrambled eggs for tea. And after Miss Four was in bed....I did NOTHING. No dishes. No folding washing. NOTHING.
Awesome! Why don't I do that more?!
Anyway today, there will (unfortunately) be the need to do some jobs.....but I am hereby promising to turn the computer off as soon as I have finished this post, only do what really needs to be done and spend some time with my baby girl.
We might garden. We might draw. We might play cards. We might bake. Who knows!
But what I do know is I'm going to relax and enjoy my daughter before she grows up and thinks that spending a weekend with Mum is 'naff''.
Love you Miss Four xx
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