Grateful to be a giver.

I was chatting with a friend and during the course of our conversation I had a bitch and a moan.  My friend turned to me and said...."you know what?  Your a giver, that's the problem."  And shes right, I am. 

However I think even though I'm complaining I'd rather have my problem than be on the other side of the fence.  I read recently 'give more than you take' and I think that's wise.

Even though sometimes you end up feeling like I did, a bit pissed off that once again someone just doesn't get it, that you got the short end of the stick and can't believe how one sided some people are - it's much better for your whole self to be a giver.

And although I'm sounding all mightier than thou I just honest to goodness feel better about who I am.  That can't be a bad thing!

Doing it alone is probably safer.

I had the most awful experience yesterday.

It left me shaken, anxious, overwhelmed and a little cross.

I'm a planner by nature.  I make lists.  I'm tend to do things the same way if they work.  If not I'll make adjustments but sometimes things get so out of whack that they can threaten my very being.

This is what happen yesterday.

My world was upset.  My way - that quiet, organised, calm way was upturned.

And to be fair there was a reason to it.  A good thought gone horribly wrong....never again though.  It's not worth the fall out.

What happened you ask?

Well on a busy Saturday morning my husband, the Farmer, decided he and the children would come with me.........................to do the groceries.

Never again.

The children, well they know how I roll, but the Farmer, as well meaning as he was almost got a clobber around the head with a wine bottle.

He's fine on his own, with a list (ensuring that it is in order of food aisles otherwise he forgets things) but with me, the kids and what seemed to be 90% of the rest of the town, it was a nightmare.

Never ever again.

When the shoe is on the other foot.

Sometimes it's the double standards of life that make me, well a bit Pippy to be frank.

You know.......it's okay for me to have to make all the effort but not the other way around.  I find some people have short memories.

I'm not going to go into the ins and outs of this personal dilemma.  I just find it a bitter pill to swallow.  And seeing as I have this open forum to go 'GRRR' in, I thought I would just do that.......

so

GRRRRRRRRR

 

Thanks for letting me vent!

By the way 3000 page views.  Seriously?!  Can't believe other people are interested in my ramblings!

It's still kinda cool though!  Cheers!

High heels and Hair cuts

Extraordinary day yesterday. 

It had me smiling in my sleep!

I had decided it was time for a haircut.  Spring is here, Summer not far away and well a change is good.

I brought some really funky heels, the kind you can wear with jeans and but I realised that since I first brought them I'd only worn them once.  So with a confident application of lippy, my flavour of the month top and my ever faithful jeans I chucked on my heels and trotted off to the hair dressers.

At the start when I told her I wanted a change I'm sure she was a bit doubtful but nonetheless she worked her magic and I left a new woman.  Or something.

I knew it was a good cut when out with the Farmer for lunch he commented on how good I looked numerous times and even went as far as a PDA (Mum that means public display of affection!).

Surprising to me though was the general stuff that happened in the afternoon - the bookstore lady was expectionally friendly and chatty to me, the wee man at the petrol station just appeared to fill my tank (usually they are noticeably absent), the lady at the clothes shop ignored people right in front of me and said hello to me and the lady at the bakery let me off .10c of the french stick I was buying as I didn't have quite enough.

Now I'm not sure if it was just that I was feeling good, therefore smiling more and relaying a general state of happiness which the world picked up on or just a good day in town.  Who knows but if town was more like that I'd probably go in more!!

On my arrival to school in the afternoon I don't think I've ever had so many nice comments on my hair before.  A couple of people didn't even recognise me!  Sheesh, talk about a getting a big head!!

The down side is that today I'm be back in my work clothes, work shoes and my hair will probably not look nearly as good.

But that extraordinary feeling is still there.  And that is bound to put an extra big smile on my face.

Gosh darn it I might just be growing up.

So I entered this wee photo competition (as I do) for a Rural calendar.

Anyway my expectations were low so I was chuffed to hear I'd got two images through to the next round of judging. 

WARNING BELLS!  Don't get excited - Whoops too late.  Part of me then began to think....okay, maybe i have a shot.....

Well I didn't.

I heard back today and neither went through to the next round.

For about 5 minutes I felt really bummed out.

But then I thought, well hey I got through the first round - that's not a bad thing.

My curiosity got the better of me so I thought I'd find out how many from the 1700 entries made the first cut.  Turns out only 220 did and 2 of those were mine!

How cool is that!?!

Which leads to me to think that perhaps I am growing up.  Perhaps my ability to deal with disappointment comes from having a good attitude, finding the positive and (just a few) years of life experience.

HOWEVER I'm not entirely sure how pleased I am with the concept of growing up.  I may well have to do something silly and childlike to knock it on the head........Watch this space.

The lesson I was taught.

If you know me, or have been reading my blog, you'll likely know that I really try to be a good parent.  Supportive, loving, well balanced - and I don't mean a glass of wine in both hands.  I try to be encouraging and help my children learn not only things that are educational but the 'bigr picture' things in life....you know values and stuff.

But often it's hard.

There can be tiredness, tears and whinging.  And that's just me.

However on Friday I was delighted to watch both of them shine at their school assembly.

Miss 5 and a half got a 'Star Student' certificate for helping and being well.....her.  There may have been a weenie tear in my eye....perhaps dust but we will go with a wee tear.

Then Master 8 and a half stood up with two other class mates to read a poem....in front of the whole school.  Go him!  I was so proud!  It's was much later in life before I was confident to do such things.  And at a push I would do it now but not before trying to get out of it.  What made me super proud was he loves his writing so read out his work was pretty special.

Even with all my worries about their education being met, their friends, their teachers, manners, are they being all they can be, I was taught by them (in a very round about way) that in fact they are doing just fine.  Which means I'm doing just fine too.

And I'm proud of them. 

Which surely is the one of the best parts of parenting there can be.

10 things you didn't know about me....

Well I was just feeling a bit random of late and thought I would share my randomness with you - so 10 things you didn't really want to know about me but are going to know by the end of this post.....


1. I believe the sound/word 'Meh' should be added to the dictionary.  The meaning can be a number of things as follows........whatever - can't be arsed - really? - No - Yes - go away - I think so. In fact I think there are possibly more definitions we could come up with.

2. If you have the pleasure of taking a photo of me one of two things will happen.  Possibly my eyes will turn into small slits as I smile and/or laugh.  Or I will end up with multiple chins.  Either option isn't attractive.

3. I still listen to tapes.  On my Walkman.  And it's not because I'm trying to be retro. 

4. I have over 50 necklaces.  Lets not even talk about earrings.

5. My middle name is Elizabeth.  Okay Mum so you know this one already.......

6. Today I was listening to The Little River Band.  On a tape, in my car.  And was singing.  Blame my Dad. 

7. "I like Meat Pies."  In truth I like just about any sort of pie but this is another thing to blame on my Dad.  It's one of those phrases he pulls out randomly, thus I am following suit.

8. Autumn is my favourite season with Spring a close second.

9. I think Johnny Depp is an amazing actor and pretty good looking to boot.  Alright so you know this already but I just wanted to see if you were still reading.

10. I was struggling to think of a 10th thing and Master Eight & half wandered by.  He wanted to know what I was doing.  He offered the final item as "Mum is the best Mum in the World."  Can't argue with that.

And just to clarify I do like other musicians not just The Little River Band.  I'm not a complete crazy lady.  I think.

Life vs Passion. Can there be a winner?

While talking to a dear friend today I discussed what would happen if I gave something the whole 110%.  Do I have the drive for it?  Do I have the passion?  Do I really want to?!!

I'm talking photography here.....I love it.  I love the joy it brings others when I've captured an image of something special.  I love to share.  I get a kick out of it.  I'm never going to be very good at charging for it.  Possibly because I undervalue what my abilities are but perhaps because it's just not who I am. 

I'm not a technical photographer.  I'm more of a "fly-by-the-seat-of-your pants-make-shit-up-and-hope-it-works" kind a photographer.  And for the most part it (surprisingly) it does work.

The thing that always seems to get in the way for me is, well..... Life. And this is where the whole 'drive/passion' thing comes in.  Probably I could avoid having to do the housework/paid employment/cooking thing if I was THAT passionate about it but I just can't seem to put myself first enough to do so.

And it's not even the home stuff....I'm desperate to get myself back on track, in terms of health and well being, so much so that the photography stuff keeps getting kicked to touch.

Then there is the being available for my kids - I'm trying very hard to help Master Eight and half with his school work, support Miss Five and half and keep the home fires burning.  I'd also like to help the farmer out with farm jobs and around the house stuff AND want to make sure I'm spending time with family and friends.

Enough hours in the day?!?

Hmmmm me thinks not.

But perhaps if i was more driven, more passionate, I would find the time......

Sigh.

In someways I'm not bothered.  I'll keep ticking along as I am.  Happy to be the Wife - Mum - Friend - Daughter - Sister - Aunty that I am.

And I guess when the time is right......well then my passion-hobby-whatever can come first.

Good in theory right!?!

Giving and Taking.

My Mum (and Dad) used to say "you'll get your reward in Heaven" and to a degree I think that's about right.

But sometimes it means that your on the giving end...........alot.  And that means some one else is taking. 

Or just plain taking the piss.

So do you wait for the reward in Heaven?!!  Or do you throw your toys?!

Okay so I'm not good at throwing toys.  I can probably throw a bit of a wobbly (or use swear words in my blog!) but that's about it.....so I guess I'll wait.

I suppose that's just the person I am.  And it sometimes burns (like indigestion) and sometimes I couldn't care less.

It's the way of the world.  The Givers and Takers.  I see the Givers in my friends, and my really good friends are 'cut from the same cloth' as me.   So in my wee world it balances out.

At some point I know that the Takers will find that everyone has had enough.  They have nothing left to give and they will find themselves perhaps regretting their decisions.  Perhaps not.  But at the end of the day I would rather Give.  For the most part it's a good feeling.  I know it's right and yes that reward will wait.  Hopefully for  a very long time.

Ramshackle life

There is no really purpose or direction for today's post.  That's a the beauty of a blog.  "Randomness".  So here we go....

I love my life.  The funny ins and outs, ups and downs. 

The quiet Sunday at home among the days of crazy everyday life.

Things I enjoy may not be the norm.  The way I dance might be a bit crazy.  I'm happy to poke fun at myself and have a good time.  My laugh might be loud but it's real.  I care about whats important to me. 

There are days when the odd comment knocks me from my course.  It makes me doubt myself & my choices.  But having the confidence in my ramshackle life, in the way I do things, for the reasons I do things I can be quietly happy about my lot.

Do we say that we are happy often?  I mean really?!!  There is always something going on.  Not often time to count your blessings.   But for me, today, while the sun is shining, the wind blowing, the kids playing and the house in a general state of disorder I can tell you that I'm happy.

And that's enough for me.