If I have learnt anything from losing Dad, it's Empathy.
I considered myself an empathic person, but now I really get it. You have a whole different perspective.
Sympathy is trying to feel someone's pain and Empathy is actually feeling it.
When Dad passed the jungle drums started to beat. Friends and family pulling together to help us through. I had some lovely messages from people. These gave me great comfort. There were offers to help. But no one knows how to help, really. However the meals left without fanfare, they not only nourished but were like a hug. And the messages that kept coming, for weeks, with no need of reply, was like a solid hand on my shoulder letting me know they were there. The people who had been where I was standing, were the best at knowing how to help. Empathy.
I'm a people person. However during this time I really struggled to see the people that knew me best. I knew that they would see through the mask I was wearing for work, in life and would see my broken heart. I couldn't let that happen, I'd lose control and it would all be real. I think perhaps it hurt them for me to push away but in a way that only truly special friends can, they stuck by me.
I'm being back to myself now. Wanting to reach out. The grief has subsided and connection to life is regaining its place in my world. Those with empathy, they understand that grief has no timetable. They will talk about things with me, don't gloss over things and are okay if I'm not the bubbly crazy person I am normally. They support and love. And I'm ever grateful.
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